What did you get?

            The class sits silent, pools of sweat gather from nervous students. The light foot steps of a middle aged man echo as he repeats, “Like I said before these tests were for the most part well done. However, a small group of students seem to have confused themselves. Retests are ready.” He grins and stands at his desk, as the students reflect ghost like faces, white in fear. “Adrian,” he calls and puts the test softly down on his desk, “well done.” And the process repeats until a dissatisfied look bolts across the teachers face, “Brian…Brain…Brian?” A zombie like figure stands up and takes his test without looking upwards. He sits like a scared goat, falling paralyzed. The students gather around him with one common question.

 “What did you get?”

What did you get? There can only be three possible reasons for such a great question. One, they did better then you so therefore they must tell you so that they can prove there is no one smarter then them in the world. Two, they did just as bad, so now they have become just as smart as you. And three, they are only asking to start conversation where then they can tell you exactly how the teacher has punished them for no reason what so ever.

“ I got 49%”

“Oh no!” A classmate replies as his face morphs into a laughing Hyena’s. “That’s too bad, you see I got 95% except I didn’t have much time to study!” Well isn’t that just the worst. You only had 1 week to study yet you somehow lucked out and did so well your own parents will think you cheated! I welcome you to stand beside me as I mourn the loss of my grade as it is lowered into its grave while you do the same with a grade that would satisfy university students. Please explain to me where it all went wrong, your simple mistakes might somehow teach me how to solve world hunger. But in the mean time let’s both celebrate how well you did, I can struggle and get help later. You really are the smartest student in the world and I am truly honoured that you can reflect wisdom on me.

            “I got 49%”

            “Me two! Maybe the fourth time is the charm, you know I took me a couple years of this class but now I’m just as smart as you!” Yes, my intellect is reflected in this single test and therefore you are now as smart as I am. It’s true that my one test in which I did not do well on is now revealing that you, the horrendously underestimated child with 4 years of life experience over me has finally blossomed and now you are as smart as me. My work ethic is now mirrored on your lack of and we share a space in the world of grades. We should just be partners for the rest of the year now that we know that you and I will forever be the exact same intellectually.

            “I got-“

            “Oh my! That’s so good! But now look at this, I know right? Like such a rip off, you know I think he always does this,” and on, and on. The teacher was once part of the German political party of the 1930’s and has lived to come and find any way to legally punish you through the process of marking everyone’s paper right except for yours. They live to make you fail. Every action of the day is dedicated to making sure you do not earn a single mark unless you slave over it. You didn’t even make a mistake, like really one plus one is only two if you look at it that way. It could equal (and is more correctly) 3. The teacher is so wrong it truly is a crime that he is even eligible to teach! He should be fired immediately so that you can get your “well deserved” marks back.

            Yes it’s a cruel world. Your problems are my utmost concern and must be addressed. Your test can make you smarter than Einstein with red bull. I am deeply glad that you have come to me with the simple question of, “what did you get?” so we can analyze your paper, and live happily ever after.